“Enough’s enough! Farley has to go.”
So said Vodka Alliance Czar Mark Mentzer yesterday afternoon about long time Cedar Club member, Mike Farley.
“Our bylaws are exceedingly clear, and he (Farley) broke rule number 1!”
“RULE F-ING NUMBER ONE!”
The expulsion stemmed from an on-going debate set in motion back on December 7th, when Farley brought in one bottle of Tito’s and two lesser vodkas — Skyy and Smirnoff. Mentzer was less than thrilled and hinted at what was to come from the very start.
The first rule of the three rule By-laws of the Vodka Alliance are actually pretty straight forward:
Two handles of Tito’s or better. If you bring shitty vodka, you’re out. That’s it.
Said Farley, “F*** the by-laws. It’s like the guy (Mentzer) has stock interest in Titos or something. The rest of the guys at Club are happy with any swill that they can find behind the bar.”
But he went further, “The Little Dictator first accuses me of not bringing decent vodka, mixers or even ice…. I show him the freaking receipt for $85 and now he has the gaul to do this?”
“I don’t think so!”
Adding insult to injury, on the day of Farley’s expulsion, Mentzer crowed over the arrival of a veritable treasure trove left on the bar from fellow VA member Jerry Zavorka.
“And that’s another thing,” Farley chimed in, “Zavorka is a freakin’ distributor. So what if he brought in five bottles of Grey Goose and a couple of bottles of Bulleit — wait, he brought in how much?”
Mentzer seemed to have the last laugh, stating, “…and in case anyone had any doubt about how this is done….Jerry, reigning member of the year, shows us the way, ladies and gentlemen!”
Farley was last seen heading to his SUV, holding a brown paper bag that appeared to have a bottle of Two Buck Chuck in it.
We suspect that Farley, apparently taking his cues from President Trump, will not go quietly.
Farley’s evidence >
“Yeah, he paid, alright, for Smirnoff.”
— Mark Mentzer
Mike,
You’re stoking the fire by showing Mark a receipt with not one but four bottles on tonic on it. I’ll give you this…You sure have balls! Good luck with our fearless leader.
In good standing, for now, Peter…. you’re cavorting with an outcast.
Not so fast Peter. Goose is great and all…but this club can never have too much tonic
Just wait until the blog comes out about Peter Drake’s effort last week.