Guest Blogger: Drew Lied
September 30, 2025
***Don’t like your ranking? Prove me wrong***
#1 — M ‘GOAT’ J the finest the cedar club has to offer. Will he continue his dynasty or will the club figure out his tricks? Or….. have we figured out his tricks and we still can’t beat him? Feels like the latter.
#2 — DLIED BODI can we get this guy some WD-40 because he is STUCK. Not a real threat to dethrone the GOAT nor in fear of moving down. He’s our true #2.
#3 — BROCKY how will life as an owner affect his ability to compete? Will he still be able to hammer the B or will he need to play nice? Will he put winning over profits?
#4 — DUCK the birds won the superbowl, the phillies are doing their thing, now when’s Duck going to get his first paddle title? What’s it going to take… better screen play? More in-play vaping? A mini miracle? I don’t have the answers but I wouldn’t bet against him.
#5 — STOTLE after an incredible (some may say historic) run to finish out the 24-25 campaign, he’s found himself firmly seated on the COOL THRONE. Even if he overheats to start the season, it’ll be damn near impossible for him to fall out of the Top 10.
#6 — PIO grab some popcorn because it’s his break out season. We all know he’s good but we don’t know exactly how good he actually is but we will soon find out.
#7 — BAYLISS we’re writing last year off as ‘the season of rust removal.’ Now that he’s taken care of that, what will he do this year? Will there be a Bayliss resurgence getting him into the Top 3?
#8 — ZIPPER has anyone seen this guy in the last 6 months? Does he go north to escape the harsh Wisconsin summers? How will this heat affect him in the first few months?
#9— STUCKSHAMMER i’d like to see ‘mr. nice guy’ turn into ‘mr. i’ll be nice after our match.’ If we light a little spark under his ass, we may see him in the Top 5.
#10 — ARVIE now that management has changed, this guy should be loose as a goose walking onto the courts. Will we see an increase in his alcohol consumption? His heater turn on rate? Will he take over vaping on court in the absence of trevor tapgate?
#11 — NOONER going on record to say, we in fact, do NOT have a bromance. And this man is a straight up killer… not with a bullet to the back of the head but with a thousand tiny slices. You’ve been warned.
#12 — KLEINER in a few weeks, this man’s life is about to change.. will he be in the dad or daddy camp? Will the sleepless nights deter his play or will his new outlook on life bring a lightness to him on court? For the record, he gives off dad vibes to me.
#13 — CJ ‘TRAIN’ ARMBRUST i’m just gonna say it… I expect more from this lad. Year 3 is known to be a breakout season in sports. Will he flourish or will he diminish?
#14 — MURPH mr. all gas and no breaks is still fine tuning his craft. Does he play ‘traditional paddle?’ No. Does it work? Yes. Hopefully he tunes out the haters and continues to be the Cedar Club’s loose cannon. It serves him well.
#15 — HADDY benny the hunter probably won’t be happy with his pre-season ranking because this guys never satisfied. Well haddy, go on, get pissed. Let’s see where you can get.
#16 — BOBBY good ole faithful Bobby Larsen. Predictable & effective on the court, unpredictable & effective on the felt. Watch out for him on both surfaces as he is a stone cold winner.
#17 — SNODPOD he’s only getting better and better. Now that he’s been here a few years, my question is… what’s his ceiling? Is it top 10?
#18 — MATTY M is the electrician going to be at full strength for the entire season? Are there any lingering issues for him? Is he too nice to reach his full potential?
#19 — JIMMY we’re all glad to see this guy back at the club. In his time off, did Mrs. Carlos make him study up? Is he coming back wiser? Do we all need to be worried he’s coming for us?
#20 — HORNDOG danny einHORNDOG is on my HOT SEAT. After a season off and with everyone else improving, how’s he going to fair? Is he going to be rusty? Is he going to break a screen or two? This is a MUST WATCH storyline.
#21 — OAKSTER last season didn’t go as planned for him but that doesn’t mean that’s how it’s going to go THIS year. Come back party for oaks this year? I’d hop on that bandwagon.
#22 — ZENDER the calm, cool and collected zender is destined to make a push this year. How far will he go? You tell me.
#23 — SEX LEGEND we all know that married men have less sex. How is this going to affect him? Are we going to see him more frustrated? Do we need to keep a timer on him when he goes to the bathroom?
#24 — DOC do we know if he’s been cheating on us this summer with Caio? Is he coming back with even more tricks up his sleeve?
#25 — TOMMY G the legend is back. Now that he’s living downtown, has he become even more chill? Will this correlate to him being so relaxed he’ll put you to sleep on the court? Just remember: stay off the golf course and on the paddle court.
Recent Comments