Power Ranking 2025

by | Jan 6, 2025 | Men's League

January 2025 Cedar Club Power Rankings

Guest blogger: Drew Lied

Complaint Form

 

  1. MICHAEL ‘THE SHERIFF’ JOHNSON (even, +17 games) there’s absolutely no evidence to suggest he should be ranked anywhere but as the top dog. His new year’s resolution? Make sure he’s got a Neti Pot in his bag at all times.
  2. ‘DIPSHIT DREW’ LIED (even, +14 games) some marquee matches on the calendar this month for this dip. Hopefully he can make the most of it and challenge the sheriff. His new year’s resolution? Lay off the pizza and get back to playing shape.
  3. DANNY ‘DUCK’ MAMALAT (even, +11 games) it’s going on record that the fair line in any given match is 1.5 pegs on the duck. He’s starting to hit swinging volley’s (low and slow) so it’s time for the club to watch out. His new year’s resolution? Become a swinger… and by that I mean only hit swinging volley’s.
  4. DAVID ‘BUBBLES’ BROCK (even, -2 games) officially tagging him as the king of the waterfall. His relentless pursuit of hitting the perfect waterfall is nothing short of impressive. Bubbler’s look like waterfalls so he’s now known as Bubbles. His new year’s resolution? Use this as his walk up song.
  5. NICK ‘SNEAKY’ PIO (even, +14 games) can we even call him sneaky anymore??? Even the S.H.I.T. system has him at #5. Does Bubbles need to be worried about his #4 spot in the official S.H.I.T. ladder? His new year’s resolution? Start messing around with spinny overheads.
  6. ANDREW ‘LOSSLISS’ BAYLISS (+4 spots, +10 games) super quick turnaround… going from ‘Winliss Bayliss’ to ‘Lossliss Bayliss’ in a matter of weeks. Is he back in form? Does Bubbles need to be worried about his #4 spot in the power rankings? His new year’s resolution? Straighten out his priorities by moving closer to the club.
  7. ERIK ‘SAINT’ ZIPPER (-1 spot, -13 games) This man is a saint…. He’ll never say it but I will… he’s been the victim of tough/(bad?) matchups for the entire season thus far. His new year’s resolution? Harness AI at work so he’s got more time on the paddle court.
  8. TREVOR KATZBAN (+3 spots, +2 games) extremely worried about throwing this guy in the top ten as I’m not sure how his ego will respond but I’m an honest man and this is where I see him. Will people call me crazy? Definitely. Will he stay in the top ten? Your guess is as good as mine. His new year’s resolution? Put the vape down and rip returns.
  9. STOTLE (+4 spots, +11 games) he must have gotten a jump start on his ‘aikenac’ in December because he’s back in form. Is he snubbed being a spot below Trevor? Possibly. His new year’s resolution? Relax his mind by convincing the world that dinosaurs aren’t real.
  10. ‘JOHNNY FLOW’ KASNER (-1 spot, -12 games) tough month for the youngster… i think it’s time for him to bring back the flow to make his game silky again (MGSA). Expecting a bounce back in January. His new year’s resolution? Harness his inner fire.
  11. ERIC ‘WALDO’ ARVOLD (-3 spots, -11 games) snubbed at 11? Probably. I’m starting to wonder… is this guy playing more matches outside of league than inside? Is he retired and has ample free time during the day? Is he contemplating retiring from the league? With only 6 total league matches, what’s Waldo telling us? His new year’s resolution? Show face at the (his) club and get in 4 matches this month.
  12. ‘TEDDY OCTOBER’ STUCKSLAGER (-5 spots, -18 games) as we’ve seen in years prior, the initial surge of cold weather is tough on the nice guys but they always respond well in the new year. Expecting this to be the case with Teddy October. His new year’s resolution? Have hot showers become his pre-match ritual.
  13. CJ ‘OPINE’ ARMBRUST (-1 spot, even games) it appears as though we’re getting a comeback from this lad in January. I would love for him to opine on the experience of his recovery from injury. His new year’s resolution? Foam roll, theragun and massages (without happy endings).
  14. DANNY ‘DANGER’ NOONAN (+1 spot, -2 games) rumors are floating around the club that there may be a bromance between me and danny danger… I’ll neither confirm or deny these allegations. However, I will say, I’m a believer in this dude’s game. His new year’s resolution? Starting laying down the law.
  15. ‘BOWFLEX BRIAN’ KLEIN (+1 spot, +9 games) nearly impossible to get a grip on this guy… right when you think he’s got it figured out, he shits the bed…. when you think all hope is lost, he starts dominating… so I’m going Switzerland here, believe it or not. His new year’s resolution? No comment.
  16. TRAVIS ‘SUGAR TITIES’ MURPHY (-2 spots. -7 games) new year, same tits. I’m expecting a middle of the season push from this gent by having a huge January. His new year’s resolution? Share his hair routine with the rest of the club.
  17. DUSAN ‘EINSTEIN’ MEDAN (+3 spots, even games) he’s einstein because he’s cracked the code. This Serb is about to make a MASSIVE push in January…. if he decides to come back from Serbia. His new year’s resolution? Play some tournaments and no more vacations.
  18. GREGORY ‘GREG’ ANDERSON (+∞ spots, +16 games) he started as gleb graduated to glen and is now finally to greg. Another guy set up for a huge finish to the year. I’m putting his EOY ceiling at 12 and EOY floor at 18. Where will he land? His new year’s resolution? Less padel, more paddle.