How the mighty have fallen
The New Summer Paddle Season is well underway and it took only two weeks for tensions to mount. Summer Commissioner Dan Einhorn assumed that it would be an easy gig to give cooped up middle age men the opportunity to enjoy an evening out at the paddle courts.
Little did he realize that trouble lurked just under the surface.
The fact was that the top ranked (and three time club champion) David Brock moved from the no.1 spot to the no.4 spot in a single week, while Einhorn (yes, the same) moved ahead of Brock in the rankings.
Outed whistleblower Mike Farley (yes, the same disgruntled Super Suck champ) publicly called out Einhorn for the transgression, “What kind of ranking voodoo has been done here? Aside from me falling in the rankings (that’s normal) I see Brock behind Wier and yourself… David Brock is the only guy in this entire group who can single-handedly take over a match — or did the ghost of Larry Kane take over?”
Brock, reported to be on suicide watch, didn’t ask for Farley to go to bat for him, labored a despondent cry for help, “My ranking has never been a more accurate account of my game than it is right now.”
Ryan Oakes (yes, the same Ryan Oakes who no one has heard of) was quick to offer his assistance to Brock, “I’ll play with the 4 seed this week if no one else wants to.”
Prompting an incredibly pernicious Bear attack, “Frankly after his performance last night, I’m shocked to see him still in the single digits.”
Einhorn tried to grab hold of a situation ready to spiral out of control…
“There is a chance that a couple scores were entered improperly and may or may not have caused an adverse effect on a couple ranking spots.” Then, unwittingly opening up a firestorm with his follow up admission, “Those that pointed out the error… I docked them 50 points in my campaign against any and all whistleblowers.”
“It takes a big man to admit when he is wrong ….I am not a big man.”
More surely to follow.
— — — — — — —
The “evidence” of Brock’s demise can be seen in two successive losses, however, who said that Brock was only 100 points ahead of the next guy?
I want to know why Dan thinks he is 600 points better than me? Because he actually is? Our match will be epic.
Well written
I am actually now 904 points better than you and you have the great David brock as a partner this week to eliminate all future excuses
Seems to me you are now over 900 points worse
At least you have Brock as s partner this week, so all excuses are gone
In the bonds
DAN
It’s the arbitrary starting point of you, Mr.9600 and me, Mr.9000… soon to be Mr. 9166.