Largest TV audience to view paddle expected.
In what can only be described as the “ballsiest decision in America”, Cedar Club President Dale Borowiak announced today, in defiance of fellow league commissioners, that the Men’s Club Championship upcoming on Saturday, April 4th, is still a GO!
With the cancelation, suspension or delay of every major American sporting event, from the NBA, NCAA March Madness, NHL, MLB to even the Kentucky Derby because of the coronavirus scare, ONLY the Cedar Club Men’s Championship will continue as if the zombie apocolypse is not upon us.
Said Borowiak, “We wanted to let you know that we are planning on having the Club Championship.” He did add that the situation will be monitored, stating, “Over the next two weeks, we will decide on any format changes and operating mechanisms around the day.”
Like every other leader on the planet, the safety of participants and spectators, along with the logistics to run a world-class event like the Club Championship take very special planning.
“We will make the appropriate decisions on how we deliver food and beverages. If you have already committed, but have a change of heart, be sure to let Dan (Einhorn) know.”
The tournament will practice social distancing on the deck and in the club house, along with Chris Hale on the court by simply shouting “yours!”
With Dr. Lucky on site, any symptoms noticed will be treated in accordance with CDC and WHO guidelines. Any symptoms not associated with the coronavirus will be dealt with by Beany.
The TCC is currently looking into streaming the event for the 330 million Americans who have nothing to watch on TV except for painful reruns of the East Carolina vs. NC State football game from 2019 that Tournament Director Dan Einhorn lost $100 on last Fall. Since less than 0.5% of people in the U.S. even know what “paddle” is, the viewership should be record-breaking.
Said Einhorn, “This could be big.”
My money in on Brogan!!! He’s a killer!