It started off innocently enough…

Tom Lehmann needed a sub for his Thursday night match last week.  He put out the call on a Tuesday and Mark Mentzer offered to take it.  End of story, right?

Not quite.

Mentzer got tickets to a Bucks game and wanted to bail, so he put out the call later that day… Mike Farley, playing in the 6:00 match, took it to get a double header.  Again, everything working just how Duke has so expertly taught us.

Then, the following day, Chris Hale, in the 8:40 Thursday match, can’t play and it’s game on…

Farley, already on for 2 matches, decides to pull a “Crosse” and take on the trifecta of matches for the evening — only thing is that Hale doesn’t appear to get the message.  What’s more, Dan Einhorn and Matt Moeser both drop out, prompting Dave Jenkins, playing in the match, to “offer to drop out” of the match if it “helps keep one match in play.”

Thoughtful?  Or is the confusion creeping in?

Moeser writes, “If we eliminate Moeser, Jenkins, Einhorn and Hale, that leaves Borowiak, Molepske, Doman and Lehmann to merge together for a match.”  Too bad Lehmann was already long gone, being replaced by Mentzer being replaced by Farley, and, in a separate string, Doman was out, too.

Meanwhile, the good doctor Andy Knoernschild had scheduled himself into the 6 o’clock match with Farley, taking over for Steph Dermond, then playing the double-header in his regular match at 7:20… but, noticing the already long email string, let it be known that he’ll do “whatever works for everyone.”

Tom Lehmann, the initiator of all substitutions, comes back into the fray by stating that he “will be there with my laces up and ready” wondering if bad weather is on the way since everyone seems to be cancelling. Why did he cancel in the first place, one wonders.

The always courteous Mr. Jenkins chimes in to the earlier string with helpful clarification that, “Sheehy is in for Dale, Mentz is in for Doman and Scott and I remain @ 8:40.” Again, too bad Doman and Mentzer are out, and Farley has still not gotten confirmation from Hale.

Following this?

Will Mrotek, believing he has the answer to all ills, suggests, to “combine the 6pm and 7:20 matches into one match”, yet, learning that Dermond can’t play, states that he’d rather not play and closes with “so how many does that leave that still want to play?”

Clear as mud.

Farley gets the confirmation from Hale, only to see his opportunity to move up the ranks with a 3-fer slipping away.  Jenkins, now moves from helpful to critical, scolding Dermond, “see what happens when you decide not to play” who closes the communication with his retort:

“What I want to know is, WHO IS ON FIRST?”

In the end, no one is sure who showed up, but all six matches matches were played.