Do not click on this video is your ears are offended by foul language…

The Cedar Club pre-season rankings, thanks to the new and improved Lundeen 3001, are out… and all the usual suspects fill the top slots: Eric Arvold is still number 1, Duke is 2, Andrew Bayliss is 3.  Mike Deam, Mike Lynch and Beany follow in the 4, 5 and 6 spots.  The feisty David Brock does not believe he should be ranked “as low” as number 7, while top left hander Brad Brogan, Russ Mull and Scott Schroeder (which one, we don’t know) round out the top 10.

Of note, is that protesting attorney Steve “Squirrel” Mayer is no longer #11 (he’s 12) and two new comers (Wasfy and Guiterrez) have been deemed by the mystical powers of the Lundeen 3001 to rank in the Top 20 without having played so much as a match.

Normally, you see major movement at the bottom of the rankings, simply because new guys have another season of experience under their belt and find that they can actually play competitively.  However, this year, you need only look to last season’s #16 player, Steph Dermond, to see a precipitous 10-man fall to #26.  One wonders what Steph did to anger the system so, but before he cries too loudly, he may wish to commiserate with Randy Hopper, James Wawrzyn and Jon Feldbruegge who each fell 9 slots from last year’s final standings.

The paddle gods can be kind, as well… just ask Mark Mentzer, Andy Siefkes, Kevin White and Brian Bialek, who all moved up 9 positions.  Not to be outdone, Dave Lucke +12, John Tokarz +16 and highest climber of all is Fast Freddy Westreich, who jumps up 17 places to #55!  Of course, this all comes as quite a shock to Chad Bolliger, who played virtually every day in the off season and actually moved down three spots. See what hard work will get you?

Everyone can always take comfort in knowing that they aren’t the new guys each year, who have to climb the ladder from the very bottom (i.e. Harms, Miller, Pulito, Marks and Willems), unless, of course, you are T.J. Strachota, who saw all of the gains he made last year to #40, crash and burn to #62… (that’s 22 spots, if you’re counting) to start this season — that’s just cruel — funny, but cruel.

Good luck, fellas, prove ’em all wrong.